I Never Told You
by on-the-hermitage-of-turtles
Summary: song-fic. one-shot. HM, like there's anything else. song is I Never Told You by Colbie Callait...sorry I forgot to put the disclaimer in the author's note. I don't really have a summary. R&R!


**A/N:** Okay so...I guess I could start with saying....I'm baaaaaaack. I've taken a break from my break I guess to post this. Just something that's been nagging at me all day, and I had to write it down. Except...it's not quite how I had wanted it. So it probably sucks. I'm sorry...I'm a bit rusty. Anywho, if you have any ideas, suggestions or comments, I'd love to hear them. Thanks!

-Allie

**April of 1958**

It was raining outside. That didn't matter though, seemed no matter how sunny and warm the weather was, to her it was cold and cloudy. Most people would just assume depression, which is what they did assume it was. Although, she wasn't so sure they would be wrong. Maybe she was depressed…even though, deep down, she really knew what it was…she was missing something…or rather, someone.

It seemed as if almost everything around her, kept sending her back to July of 1953. He was standing right there, so close, it would have been so easy. Instead she just told him goodbye…kissed him goodbye and watched him fade from her life. If only leaving him there had been so easy…

_I miss those blue eyesHow you kiss me at nightI miss the way we sleepLike there's no sunriseLike the taste of your smileI miss the way we breathe_

No one would have ever guessed of their strange affair. They were very careful…although she wasn't sure if some of them had a faint idea of what was going on. But after he came back from Tokyo, he felt that it would be a better idea to end things there. _"I would feel better for you, it would be best for you." _he'd said. She had agreed, not really knowing what she wanted at that point.

Now she knew what she wanted…_But I never told youWhat I should have saidNo, I never told youI just held it inAnd now,I miss everything about youCan't believe that I still want youAnd after all the things we've been throughI miss everything about youWithout you_

Made her wonder, if things wouldn't be different. If she had said something to him…while she had the chance. She wondered, if they would be in Maine together. But the pessimist in her wouldn't let her believe it would have worked out. That little voice that kept playing in the back of her mind that said, "You know what will happen, he'll break your heart, if not now, then later. It's not worth the risk." And she agreed with that little voice. It wasn't worth the risk, she decided to keep the few good, happy memories over having to live with the heartbreak his rejection would have caused.

It just didn't help though that his face was there every time she closed her eyes. His smiling, laughing eyes. Bright blue, shining…and despite the pun, piercing through her. She'd never forget that last day, as he could only stare at her…this sad reluctance in them, even now giving her that heaviness, the emptiness, in the pit of her gut._I see your blue eyesEverytime I close mineYou make it hard to seeWhere I belong toWhen I'm not around youIt's like I'm alone with meBut I never told youWhat I should have saidNo, I never told youI just held it in_

And now, here she was, alone. Nothing left but to dwell on everything she had left behind. Everything she had given up to prevent the breaking of her heart, which ended up happening in the end. Because now it was too late.

Regret, it was almost a ridiculous feeling. People had been feeling it since the beginning of time. She was fairly sure Adam and Eve seriously regretted eating from that tree, and that Germany regretted ever trusting Hitler, that her mother often regretted the bottle of tequila that led to the meeting of her father, which sometimes made her laugh. She thought for the longest time that she would regret her affair with Hawkeye, but it didn't happen that way.

Instead she actually felt the opposite. She was happy that it happened. No, if there was ever one thing that Margaret Houlihan regretted was, letting him go…

_And now,I miss everything about youCan't believe that I still want youAnd after all the things we've been throughI miss everything about youWithout you_

The rain kept pouring down, and she only sat and watched as it fell, the sound of it's pitter-patter lulling her, her mind began to drift. It wasn't long before she had fallen asleep…

It must have been hours later when she was awakened by loud knocking on the door. It was getting dark outside so she couldn't really see anything through the small bit of the window through the curtain. She quickly checked herself in the hall mirror then opened the door.

"Hey Major Baby," he said smiling at her, his hair falling into his face. His clothes soaked through from the pouring rain.

"Hawkeye," she said, her voice giving slightly. He opened his arms and she was in them.

_But I never told youWhat I should have saidNo, I never told youI just held it inAnd now,I miss everything about youCan't believe that I still want youAnd after all the things we've been throughI miss everything about youWithout you_


End file.
